A walk in the city and an all Day Brunch At Home Cafe
By now I thought I'd have a family. Be running errands on a Saturday with them in toe or me perhaps in toe, as I am a lingerer. They would urge me to hurry up while, in contradiction, enabling, encouraging me to linger even more by showing me opportunity after opportunity to make photos.
I'd thought I'd have found purpose, a second chance to help build a beautiful family, of two, of my own and perhaps motherhood. Perhaps a shared project that we can do while still doing our separate things in life. I think in a year I can, I would. Surely. Silly girl. Quit thinking.
I've been training myself to stop thinking those thoughts, although it does enter into the flow now and again, and start doing. Doing more of the things I'd thought I'd be doing, even in those dreamy family filled dreams. To do more, not dream less, but do more while I dream up the usual storm. What does this look like?
I have a focus in discovering. Discovering my creativity. Discovering the things that quiet my mind long enough for me to enjoy the simplest of days, of things or moments. Life.
It looks like making home, out of the space that I currently live.
It looks like exploring Charlotte Street for a.m. errands. It looks like facing fears and anxieties. I could have gone anywhere but instead I messaged Tanya and put all my social anxiety aside and spent sometime with a new friend walking a part of the city. Briefly,. Quickly. Because we had a packed day ahead.
It looks like learning to paint. Not to sell paintings. Not to make a masterpiece but just to create.
It looks like photography. Challenging my self with every photo, every subject to translate what I feel behind the lens by capturing what is in front my lens. Regardless if it is my phone as in the photos taken here or with my camera that I typically log around with me everyday I challenge myself with every photo I take, to master this skill. To create.
It looks like imperfection. I thought by now my parents would find peace in what they see in me, feel proud, feel that I am okay and happy and so too be same in themselves for what they have assisted me in becoming. I hope for that peace one day. For now I find peace in the stroll, the freedom and these aimless Saturdays and discovering my happiness amidst the bouts of depressive worry.
Khalil Gibran works in the prophet, particularly his words on joy and sorrow, has put alot of this into perspective. So much so I can enjoy this time even when it feels as if sorrow sits more, with me on my bed, that joy does.
Charlotte street isn't one of the more glamorous streets in the city. In fact it is pretty common but with loads of character, from this an outsiders perspective.
With market stalls lining the side of the road, provisions, plants and spices on retail, the street during peak hours is quite busy. There is a hat shop and south bound traffic. A young lady operates her spa on the side walk. Offering eye brow waxes, manicures and pedicures right there on the side walk. Equipped with the most welcoming attitude she is busy tending to a female customer while another waits in line. Sweet. I thought. There is parking somewhere mid way up the street. We paid TTD$ 5.00 for per hour leaving our car in the care of a stern mature lady, only interested in business. Charlotte street requires time, is perfect for aimless wandering and a todo list if you wish.
After Charlotte street we thought about lunch, she hadn't been to Home Cafe before and suggested we go to the cafe on Aripitha Ave for lunch. Tanya is here for work, she has moved here a month now and is still pretty much discovering everything for the first time. Second and third times for the good one. I strongly suggested against that idea and offered to bring her here. To Home first Cafe in St. Clair. While always uncomfortably hot I think of the two Home Cafe branches, it was the most appropriate one to try first. I love the architecture. No surprise there, with me right. The white, the wood and the light. Three things I think when used well together form some kind of magic that touches your soul.
There we found an amazing all day Saturday brunch, at the Home Cafe, for a $TT100 dollars and shared our desserts because we want to try it all.
There are so many gems in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book on creativity, Big Magic, and so you must read it anyway, but one of my favorites is “if I am not actively creating something, then I am probably actively destroying something”. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach when I read that line. I realised that art is not only something I wanted to do sometimes, but something I had to do.
The process of working creatively is more than beneficial, it is essential.
If this is ringing any bells for you I urge you to make the time for creative endeavours. Any creative endeavours - singing Credence Clearwater Revival a cappella, nude self portraits while the kids are at school, trying to capture the fragility of life via wilting peonies on your i-phone camera… whatever, it is all dignified, it is all worthy. Throw all your perfectionist-leaning, result-driven expectations in the rubbish bin and enjoy the artistic ride because there is a seat on that rollercoaster for all of us.