When my life changed shortly after my divorce in 2011, my living situation was closing in on me, physically, literally, figuratively. It came to the point that I could not live in my studio apartment as it was as I felt closed in, mentally cluttered and trapped in a way.
Growing up my mother always said, mind you I am a messy pot, that a uncluttered space results in a uncluttered, clear mind. She always assisted me in cleaning my space until I was of age to assume this responsibility on my own. I was a late bloomer in this regard and I never understood what she meant and just felt pestered when urged to declutter my room as a child and even back then in 2011 my threshold for clutter was so low I do not even think I noticed when I was being swallowed by my environment.
I think it was then that my tolerance for clutter shifted and I needed a change. With the help of my family I renovated the studio. we broke walls, opened up spaces, installed 5 ft x12 foot windows for walls let the light in, upgraded the library storage, got a proper living room set (I had none prior to) and remodeled the bedroom. That was then.
Ever since, possibly even before, my life has been a beautiful mess. I swear. This is no lie. But this is where it started I wanted to live simpler, I wanted to live more meaningful and lead a more fulfilling life. I wanted just to live and be authentically me and that could only start with conscious effort.
The issue with that is that one would have had to know who "me" is. In the midst of my heart ache it was the only way I thought I would live, like literally. So it was then I decided to live the life I thought was more meaningful and more fulfilling to me, with intent.
This involved formulating plans to travel, continuing growing my organic growing practice and photography. It was then i started taking photos of food and sharing it. My first share was on Facebook on May 13th 2011, it was actually at our mothers day lunch that year. I grew up sharing special occasions and birthdays out for dinner or lunch. My father and mother would usually choose the place, we would get dressed and enjoy the food and time around the table. That is how we gifted. At an early age my bother and I stopped receiving material gifts. From material gifts, we received monetary gifts and then as we grew older we gifted each other in time and usually food. It's just how we did it.
On Facebook I shared both my gardening and food adventures, with photos taken with my blackberry for a little over a year, even through transitioning to an iphone in 2012. I had discovered a passion in that. A sort of obsession. It was helpful for me in that it served as a journal, capturning moments that I can go back to contemplate on and use as records especially for gardening and the learnings I was discovering while planting there.
In October 2012 I created introvertlybubbly, then it was a wordpress based blog, after being encouraged by my parents, brother, aunt and cousin Tammy to follow this dream to blog and capture the moments I have been photographing in a more meaningful way. I think they were tired of hearing me talk about it. I am thankful for them. So I started blogging in late 2012. I found great joy in writing and capturing life's moments on my blog. It was a catalyst for my adventurers and channel in which I can see in a visual way things unfold, chart the future and plan. It was greatly therapeutic. Amusing also, I laughed at times at myself and the process because I often wrote and didn't publish publicly, or published publicly and then put private. I felt vulnerable, exposed and strangely freeing.
It was not until 2013 that I really traveled with intent. I decided in January 2013 to slow down on my very demanding work schedule and extended hours devoted to my Engineering Career and started planing a trip to Europe. A sort of a dream trip was in the making. I spent the majority of the time after carnival that year planning for October travel to London, France, Italy and back.
I went to Euorpe and back and the entire experience was somewhat a life changing experience.
- I found my style.
- I found things in reality that was previously only lodged in my mind.